wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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