We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
