need another drink. this is the easiest way
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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