You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
