Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
