Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
