can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
