I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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