Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
