Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
