Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
