1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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