And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I stole a fireplace last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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