you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
