Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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