Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize