I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize