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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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