i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
