i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
