great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
