I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
