do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
not ubering you a puppy
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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