Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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