whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
