if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
