You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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