i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
