My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
