I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
