FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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