The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
