Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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