Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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