12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize