I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
