your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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