Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
