So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize