her vagine was all disorganized.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
