my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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