to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
