I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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