Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize