oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
