I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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