So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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