He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
