nut hugger
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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