Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize