Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
