Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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