Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
