Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
