Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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