Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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