I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
