If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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