Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
