I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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