it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
