After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
this will be a night to untag.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
