you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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