The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you had me at cake vodka
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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