I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
sex in a hospital.. check
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
