Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the day after is always just damage control
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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