I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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