i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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